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| "You're mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elder berries!" |
I - Dark Angels - Lion El'Jonson
"The Lion", as he is nicknamed, landed on a forest planet populated by steam punkish knightly orders who protected the general populace from big scary warp fueled beasts. One of the knight heroes, Luthor, finds Lion living in the forest alone and raises him. Once he is old enough, Lion starts his own crusade to unite the knightly orders, whether they want to or not, and eradicate the monsters. As an individual Lion is lauded for his martial prowess which seems to be his "thing" imbued to him by the Emperor. He is severe and serious with little mirth or humour in his demeanor and an air about him as if he is always planning to launch an attack. As he spent the early part of his childhood alone in the monster infested woods, this is probably warranted. He is also VERY distrustful of EVERYONE which enforces his solitary nature and creates a burden of secrecy on himself which is emulated by the Legion warriors. From the beginning of Lion's Knightly Order there has been a position named Cypher, that's it, just Cypher. No one knows who he is, no one knows who appointed him, when he dies another one takes his place, and there doesn't seem to be any sort of reason for it, at least none is given, but he is a very influential advisor to Lion.
The biggest secret known only to the Dark Angels, and us as readers, is that after the Heresy Lion returned home only to be attacked by Luthor and friends who have turned to Chaos while left out of the Crusade. The Lion is hurt badly and put in stasis to heal (where he currently resides) while the "Fallen" flee only to be hunted by the Dark Angels for the rest of eternity. Due to this dirty little secret the Dark Angels pursue the Fallen relentlessly, even to the point of leaving allies in the midst of battle to follow up on a lead that a Fallen may have been in the vicinity once.
The Legion itself, named the Dark Angels, specializes in shock assault style tactics. The "Ravenwing" consisting of fast moving elements strike hard and fast which leaves a landing spot for the "Deathwing" which consists of Terminators, who then march forward and relentlessly murder everything. The rest of the Dark Angels move in the wake of combined assault of the "wings". They don't have much of a theme other than they have to keep their secret safe which has only really lead us to a bunch of shitty memes. This is too bad because they had everything set up for a Questing Knights of the Round Table theme.
II - Unknown Legion
There is very little known about this legion, although it is hinted at that the Primarch was killed by Leman Russ on orders from the Emperor. The legion's warriors were then absorbed by the other legions.
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| I'm sexy and I know it. |
III - Emperor's Children - Fulgrim
Fulgrim landed on planet called Chemos that mined vapour. Tough life eh? Anyway, the mining equipment was slowly failing and revenues were down. This meant that people had to work longer, harder, for less food as the planet was reliant on buying food from traders, and had to give up art. Fulgrim grew up and figured out how to improve the mines and the planet made money again. This allowed people to pursue art again. Yay.
Upon meeting the Emperor, Fulgrim bowed his knee immediately and was taken to his new Legion which had been reduce to a few hundred Astartes due to an administration error and the destruction of the stock of geneseed that was used to create the Astartes. With the Primarch re-joining the Legion they could replenish their geneseed stock and make more Astartes. The Emperor himself named the Legion the Emperor's Children which lead Fulgrim to attempt to live up to the name and strive for perfection. This soon bled into their physical appearance and vanity, not only perfection on the battlefield. Fulgrim is soon possessed by a Daemon of Slaanesh a'la the movie "Get Out" but overcomes it to get his body back. No, it wasn't after someone took his picture, it was after hours and hours of horrible torture. He manages to kill Ferrus Manus at the "Drop site Massacre" on Istvaan IV and he eventually ascends to Daemon Princehood after trying to suck the essence out of Perturabo and gets a snake body and some extra arms just in time to assault the Imperial Palace. Perfection. Perhaps ironically, Fulgrim never seemed to be the best at anything, at least not among his fellow Primarchs. Half of them are better fighters, the other half are better tacticians, several are better artisans, and several are better engineers. Although his YouTube make-up tutorials are top notch.
The Legion follows their Primarch in his downward spiral of vanity getting a little mixed up on their way confusing perfection with sensation. They now seek extremes in any and every sensation they can conceive which has lead to them creating their sonic weaponry and taking immense amounts of stimulant drugs. That's about it, there isn't really much to go on here.
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| Daddy didn't love me! |
IV - Iron Warriors - Perturabo
Perturabo's home planet of Olympia was a rather mountainous world with large fortress city states that were often at war.. His pod landed in a mountain range where he wandered somewhat aimlessly for a while working as a mercenary and handy man on the small settlements and communities outside the larger cities. His skills as a fighter and tradesman got round to a powerful warlord in one of the major cities who came out to the mountains to find the boy and adopted him. Unfortunately he didn't get any hugs from his liege lord, who treated him more like a tool than a son. Helping his "father" gain supremacy of Olympia, Perturabo became a master of siege warfare, but the dominance was not well accepted and several assassination attempts were made. All of these factors gave Perturabo a very sullen, brooding, cold, calculating, demeanor and he was unwilling to trust others.
When the Emperor picked him up to join the Crusade he was a little displeased with his Legion having not lived up to his expectations. So he held a lottery in which 1 in 10 Legionaries would be killed at the hands of their fellow warriors to, you know, set an example...or something. Due to Perturabo's excellence in siege warfare, this is the direction he took his Legion, becoming the first to call when an enemy's shell couldn't be cracked. By the time the walls came down everyone had moved on and claimed glory elsewhere leaving the Iron Warriors to bring up the rear deepening their self reliance and bitter resentment toward the other legions. The final straw that broke the camel's back was the revolt of Olympia and the uncompromising nature of Perturabo saw the entire population either killed or enslaved. Horus was able to use this to corrupt Perturabo further and gain him as an ally. After the Heresy Perturabo was able to ascend to Daemon Princehood after springing a trap in form of a massive fortress and utterly destroying the Imperial Fists, causing such damage it took 20 years to reform the Legion into Chapters. This was the battle of the Iron Cage.
The Legion, like it's Primarch, is cold and unforgiving. They excel at siege warfare because they are willing to make the sacrifices necessary in order to accomplish their task. There is also the nightmarish tale of the Daemonculaba, human women slaves genetically manipulated to be used as living incubators for adolescent males to be turned into Space Marines. Don't google it.
V - White Scars - Jaghatai Khan
The story of Jaghatai is pretty much the quintessential story of every Primarch. He lands on a planet and comes to rule it though war and assimilation, killing hundreds of thousands people. His army consisted mostly of lightly armoured men on horseback with bows meaning his tactics were fast moving and flowing, always changing and adapting. Shortly after his ascension to ruler of the planet the Emperor shows up and takes him away to the Crusade, Jaghatai pledging his fealty without question.
Before he was to join the Crusade fully, he brought his entire Legion to his recently conquered home planet Chogoris and they all took part in ritualistic scarification of their faces. This was followed up by a brutal campaign against Orks on multiple worlds, bonding the Legion in battle as it had never been bonded before. Very dramatic. The Khan eventually made his way, with his Legion, back to Terra in time to aid in the defence against the forces of Chaos. After the battle for Terra, the Khan chased a bunch of Dark Eldar into the Maelstrom, never to be seen again.
The Legion is famed for it's fast moving tactics full of strikes, feints, and retreats all the while peppering the enemy forces with barrages of bolter fire before striking hard at the center. They are rather aloof from most of the other Legions, their tactics not matching with the idea of holding ground that most of other Legions fight for.
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| Still has both his eyes |
VI - Space Wolves - Leman Russ
Leman Russ is basically Thor, or Beowulf, or any of the other great viking warrior kings who do great deeds etc etc. Take any of those characters and stuff it into the cut and paste story of a Primarch, have him be raised by wolves, and you got Russ, the Wolf King. This, of course, includes all the simpler things in life that vikings love such as feasting, fighting, and fucking. You can argue all you want about space marine's genitalia and reproductive activities, but who are we kidding? Russ is DTF.
The arrival of the Emperor on Fenris, the frozen Hoth-like world, is very different than his arrival on most of the others. In true viking myth fashion, the Emperor arrives at one of Russ's great feasts dressed as an old wanderer in a grey cloak and challenged Russ to three challenges of the Wolf Kings choice. Since they were in the middle of a feast and Russ didn't want to spoil the mood the first and second challenges were eating and drinking contests which Russ won handily. The Emperor was a little disappointed at what a lout his son had become and told him so, to which Russ said "Fine, lets fight!" The Emperor whooped his ass as fathers are want to do when their kid is being sassy. As any good viking king would do, when he awoke, Russ laughed and swore fealty to the Emperor. Aside from being one of the most loyal Primarchs, he is often used to dish out punishment to the other Legions having been sent after the 2 missing legions, the World Eaters, and the Thousand Sons and after razing Prospero to the ground returns to Terra to defend it from Horus. After Horus dies Russ chases the traitor Legions right into the Eye of Terror never to be seen again.
With all the viking similarities it's stands to reason that the Space Wolves fight just like vikings, in a massive hoard sweeping across the battlefield. Their individual prowess makes up for their lack of tactics, but don't be fooled as they are still Astartes so there is still a semblance to tactical decisions being made.
VII - Imperial Fists - Rogal Dorn
Hot take guys, Dorn is boring as fuck. This guy landed on a frozen planet next to a waning star, grew up with a paternal figure who he loved and was loved by, was taught everything available to him, and found and fixed up a fucking space station like it was an old Chevy. He was so god damn brilliant it doesn't even seem like he had to bring the world he landed on to heel with violence, he was just the best at everything so he became the ruler.
At the arrival of the Emperor, Dorn went out to meet him in his own fancy space ship and as with the 5 previous Primarchs, took a knee and swore fealty to the Emperor. Dorn was...great...at everything. Actually, he wasn't great at everything cause he was one of those guys that was all business all the time, no sense of humor, no room to breath, he was INTENSE all the time. The perfect tool of war. It was Dorn who headed up the defense of the Imperial Palace on Terra being the best defender and builder of the 20 Primarchs, and possibly the most trusted by the Emperor. After the Heresy Dorn goes into a deep depression believing that the Emperor is dead because of Dorn's failure to protect him. Shit is about to get a little more interesting and darker. Dorn had invented a body suit called the Pain Glove. I'm going to leave this link here so you can read up on it yourself. It's brutal. Anyway, Dorn spends a week in this thing and has a vision that the Emperor was still alive and the Imperial Fists had to redeem themselves. This is where the battle of the Iron Cage comes in, Dorn using it as a metaphorical Pain Glove the entire Legion can use at once. While both Legions suffered horribly, the Iron Warriors came out on top and would have ended the Imperial Fists had not the Ultramarines come to save the day. During the 20 years to took to rebuild they applied Guilliman's Codex Astartes and broke the Legion into Chapters. Some years later Dorn died in an offensive attack during the first Black Crusade on a Chaos battleship. Failbaddon indeed...
While the Imperial Fists are your basic space marine chapter, their successor chapter the Black Templar are a rather zealous bunch with a real Knights of the Crusades vibe to them. They hate psykers and love chains and black armour. Now the Black Templar seem to be fairly successful in story terms, while the Imperial Fists seem to get wiped out to a man every other week only to be rebuilt once again. They remain one of the most loyal and trustworthy chapters.
Well, that's the first 6 legions. They all have that basic story line of them landing on a planet, being found and raised and climbing the social ladder to ruler of the world. Next episode is going to be different, I promise. Thanks for reading and if you know of anything really important that I might have missed feel free to leave a comment.
Til next time, keep them dice rollin.
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